In a world where noise, distraction, judgment, and even illusion are omnipresent, listening has become a rare and precious skill. Yet, listening is not simply hearing the sounds around us. Active listening is much more than that. It is a conscious act of fully focusing on the other person, seeking to understand their message in all its complexity, and showing them sincere attention.
What is Active Listening?
Active listening differs from passive listening through deep engagement and a willingness to understand. While passive listening is often superficial and distracted, active listening requires total presence. It involves:
Sustained attention: Avoiding distractions, maintaining eye contact, and focusing on the speaker’s words.
Open-mindedness: Suspending judgments, prejudices, and one’s own experiences to welcome the other’s perspective.
Reformulation: Restating to the speaker what one has understood to ensure the message has been correctly grasped.
Open-ended questions: Asking questions that encourage the other to express themselves further and deepen their thoughts.
Empathy: Putting oneself in the other’s place to better understand their emotions and feelings.
The Benefits of Active Listening
Though it’s becoming increasingly rare, active listening remains beneficial for everyone. The advantages of active listening are numerous and touch all aspects of our lives:
In the professional realm: Improved interpersonal communication, conflict resolution, strengthened collaboration, customer loyalty.
In personal relationships: Deepening of bonds, strengthening of trust, better understanding of oneself and others, resolution of relational problems.
At the societal level: Promotion of dialogue, reduction of tensions, building a fairer and more humane world.
How to Develop Active Listening?
Developing active listening is a process that requires practice and patience, but once mastered, one fully enjoys its fruits. Here are some practical tips to reach this stage:
Practice mindfulness: Meditate regularly to improve concentration and ability to be present in the moment.
Train in reformulation: After each conversation, take a few minutes to reformulate what the other person said.
Ask open-ended questions: Favor questions that begin with “how,” “why,” or “what”…
Avoid interruptions: Let the other express themselves without interrupting, even if you have something interesting to say. Taking notes can help let your interlocutor complete their ideas without making us forget the content of our replies.
Show empathy: Try to understand the other’s emotions and validate them, even if it may seem difficult or out of sync with your own realities.
Obstacles to Active Listening
Today, many factors can hinder our ability to listen actively. Among them:
Digital distractions: Smartphones, notifications, social networks… divert our attention and prevent us from fully focusing on the other.
Prejudices and stereotypes: Our preconceived beliefs about others can influence our perception of their words and prevent us from truly hearing them.
Lack of patience: We often tend to want to get straight to the point and interrupt our interlocutor, which does not favor deep listening.
The desire to respond rather than listen: We are sometimes so focused on what we’re going to say that we don’t pay attention to what the other person is telling us.
How Women Can Use Active Listening
Active listening is a valuable tool for women themselves. By developing this skill, they can:
Strengthen their relationships: With their loved ones, colleagues, friends… active listening promotes mutual understanding and strengthens bonds.
Assert their rights: By carefully listening to their needs and desires, women can better defend their rights and interests.
Support other women: By listening to other women, they can create networks of support and solidarity.
How Society Can Use Active Listening to Help Women
Active listening is a powerful means to promote gender equality and fight violence against women. By carefully listening to women, we can:
Better understand their experiences: This allows us to better grasp the challenges they face and implement adapted solutions.
Create spaces for dialogue: Spaces where women can express themselves freely and feel heard are essential to promote emancipation and awareness.
Develop fairer public policies: By taking into account the needs and aspirations of women, we can develop policies that better meet their expectations.
Active Listening in Several African Cultures
Active listening is a fundamental value in many African cultures. For example:
Among the Bantu: The notion of “ubuntu” (humanity towards others) emphasizes the importance of listening to and understanding others.
Among the Wolof: “Teranga” (hospitality) involves receiving others with kindness and listening to them attentively.
Among the Dogon: Griots play an essential role in transmitting history and traditions. They are attentive listeners who know how to collect the stories and memories of the elders to keep them alive through time.
In African rural communities, talking circles allow women to share their experiences and find collective solutions to the problems they encounter. These exchange spaces are based on active and benevolent listening.
Active listening is an essential skill for building strong relationships, resolving conflicts in relationships or communities, and living in harmony with others. By developing our ability to truly listen, we open the door to more authentic, enriching communication that is adapted to the rooting and evolution of an ideal society.
Pélagie Blewussi